Wednesday, 2 January 2019

The Desire to Be Liked

Most normal people have a desire to be liked by others. It’s natural. I have been thinking recently about this and thought that I should write a blog post about it. So here it is!

There are, it seems to me, two sides to this desire, a good side and a bad one.

The Good Side of wanting to be liked

It's true to say that we are drawn to people who display good manners, are pleasant to us and who stick to the rules in society. We tend to dislike those who are rude, break the law and mistreat people. The need to be liked by others helps people to focus on being what could be described as, a good citizen. It helps to keep our society a reasonable place to live. This leads me to write about the wrong side of wanting to be liked.

The Bad Side of wanting to be liked

"One bad apple can spoil the bunch" is a saying that we are familiar with and in life, this is so true. Just as a rotting apple can spread the bacteria that breaks down the fruit, so too can the attitudes of other people infect those around them.

Many young people who feel the need to be liked can be drawn into gangs. Rather than worrying about what most people in society think about them, the desire to fit in with the criminal element and their attitudes is greater due to being in their presence.

The desire to be liked is a powerful part of our psyche and one that we need to be aware of in our society and that it can be for good or bad. Those working with young people who can be drawn into gangs realise this. Parents and others need to make sure they help their children to integrate with the 'good apples', not an easy task, and to give their children the love and attention they crave. Sadly, so many young people today are left to find their own way in life at an early age, and often the easiest path is one that leads to problems.

I always welcome your thoughts and would be delighted if you would kindly leave a comment in the box below.


  1. It is nice to be liked Ron, but not too much or else my wife never gets her shopping done. While people in the streetstop to chat!